Understanding Japanese Funerals: Rituals of Mourning
Japan is a country where ancient tradition breathes life into modern routine, and nowhere is this more poignant than in the rituals surrounding death. Known as Ososhiki, Japanese funerals are solemn, highly structured affairs that differ significantly from Western practices. For the cultural traveler, understanding the nuances of “葬儀の哀悼” (Sogi no Aito), or mourning at funerals, offers a deep window into the Japanese psyche, revealing how the nation honors its ancestors and navigates the transition from life to the afterlife.
The Origins: A Syncretic Approach to Death
To understand Japanese mourning, one must look at the religious duality of the nation. While Shinto is the indigenous spirituality of Japan, focusing on nature, vitality, and life celebrations (such as weddings), it views death as a source of kegare (impurity or pollution). Consequently, Shinto shrines are rarely the site of funerals.
Instead, Buddhism, introduced to Japan in the 6th century, assumed the role of managing death and the afterlife. Today, nearly 90% of Japanese funerals follow Buddhist rites, regardless of the family’s day-to-day religious observance. This division of labor—born Shinto, die Buddhist—has created a unique cultural landscape where mourning is channeled through the chanting of sutras, the burning of incense, and the eventual cremation of the body.
Legend: The First Death in the Kojiki
The cultural aversion to death and the necessity of mourning rituals can be traced back to Japan’s oldest historical records. In the Kojiki (Records of Ancient Matters, 712 AD), the myth of Izanagi and Izanami explains the origin of mortality.
According to the legend, the creator goddess Izanami died giving birth to the fire god. Her grief-stricken husband, Izanagi, journeyed to Yomi-no-kuni (the Land of the Dead) to retrieve her. However, he broke a promise not to look at her, lighting a fire only to reveal her rotting, maggot-infested corpse. Horrified, he fled, sealing the entrance to the underworld with a boulder. From the other side, Izanami vowed to strangle 1,000 people of his land every day in revenge. Izanagi countered that he would cause 1,500 people to be born daily.
This primal story establishes death not as a peaceful sleep, but as a separation that requires purification and distinct boundaries—concepts that still influence the structure of modern mourning.
Modern Culture: The Flow of the Farewell
Modern Japanese mourning is a multi-step process that emphasizes community and family participation.
The Otsuya (Wake)
Before the main funeral, a wake called Otsuya (“passing of the night”) is held. Traditionally, family members would stay awake all night to guard the deceased from evil spirits. In modern times, this is often a half-evening affair where guests dress in black, offer incense (oshoko), and pay respects to the bereaved family.
The Kokubetsushiki (Funeral Ceremony)
The official funeral service usually takes place the day after the wake. A Buddhist priest chants sutras while the family burns incense. Following this, the casket is filled with flowers by the mourners before being sealed.
Cremation and Kotsuage
Perhaps the most distinct aspect of Japanese mourning is cremation, practiced for nearly 99% of the deceased. Following cremation, the family participates in Kotsuage (gathering of the ashes). Using distinct, mismatched chopsticks (one bamboo, one willow), family members pick bone fragments from the ashes and pass them from chopstick to chopstick before placing them in an urn. This is the only time in Japanese culture where two people hold the same object with chopsticks simultaneously.
Traveler’s Tips: Etiquette and Taboos
If you find yourself invited to a funeral or observing mourning customs in Japan, adherence to etiquette is crucial.
- Attire: Wear conservative, black clothing. Men should wear black suits with a black tie (no tie pins). Women should wear plain black dresses or kimono. Jewelry should be limited to a single strand of white pearls; double strands are taboo as they symbolize “misfortune repeating itself.”
- Koden (Condolence Money): Cash is given in special envelopes tied with black and white knots (mizuhiki). The bills should be old or creased, signifying that you were not prepared for the death (crisp new bills suggest you were waiting for it).
- Chopstick Etiquette: Never stick your chopsticks vertically into a bowl of rice, and never pass food directly from chopstick to chopstick. These actions directly mimic funeral rituals and are considered highly offensive at a dining table.
- Bowing: A silent, deep bow is the standard greeting. Handshakes are rare in this context.
Sources & Further Reading
For those interested in the historical foundations of these practices, the following texts are essential:
- The Kojiki (Records of Ancient Matters): Translated by Basil Hall Chamberlain or Donald L. Philippi. Covers the myths of Izanagi, Izanami, and the Land of the Dead.
- The Nihon Shoki (The Chronicles of Japan): Offers parallel myths and historical accounts of early imperial rites.
- Japanese Death Poems: Written by Zen Monks and Haiku Poets on the Verge of Death (Yoel Hoffmann). A beautiful look at the literary side of acceptance and mourning.